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Loving Him While You Wait

[Currently listening to "Dancing on the Moon" while writing to you...]

Singleness has been something I've spoken to you guys about for a while now. Last time, I wrote a post on blooming right where you are planted which is about living your life right here, right now in all your singleness, but we're going to go a little deeper this time and talk about waiting for your future husband. There are two important things about waiting that we all need to know – waiting for the one God has for you is better and praying is the most powerful thing you can do while you wait.

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Waiting protects your heart. From being single to falling for the wrong one, the heart endures so much and there aren’t enough words to address its tenderness. This is why waiting for the one God has for you is so much better than rushing into the wrong relationship. You have to guard your heart. Falling for the wrong one does more damage than we think and it takes a lot to recover a damaged heart. Waiting for the right person will keep your heart safe, healthy and pure. 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
— Proverbs 4:23

How do you know if you waited for the right one? Well, first of all, it is the man’s job to do the work and pursue you. Now, we can dive into the topic of pursuit another time, but also know that just because a man is pursuing you does not always mean he is the right one either. You will need to go God to give you peace on if he is the right one and ask Him to shut it down if not. And if it’s not, well then you know you are still waiting.

Waiting does not mean you have to sit, do nothing and not even think of him. In actuality, you can guard your heart and teach it to love your future husband before even meeting him. You do this through prayer. Praying for your future husband allows you to love him while you wait. Imagine how special your future hubby will feel when you tell him how much you’ve been praying for him even before you knew who he was!

Truthfully, the title of this post is two-fold by definition: loving him while you wait is both loving God and loving your future husband. Love God by seeking Him and obeying Him by waiting for the one He gives you peace about. Love your future husband by covering him in prayers and choosing to see him through eyes of faith before you see him through the eyes of your flesh.

Two years ago, I came across a Christian blog that hosted a 14-day series on praying for your future husband. After reading the post, I remember distinctly sitting down and writing my own prayers for my future husband for the first time. There is nothing more powerful you can do during your wait than to cover your future husband in specific prayer. Over the summer, my friends and I committed to 14-days of prayer for our future husbands. During this time we each learned so much about ourselves and more importantly, we learned more about who God is.  

Jenae lead this series and during our wrap up dinner she gave us all notebooks with our initials attached. Such a sweet gift from a sweet friend.

Jenae lead this series and during our wrap up dinner she gave us all notebooks with our initials attached. Such a sweet gift from a sweet friend.

I’ve listed 7 different prayer points that are a good start if this is not something you’ve done before. Take 10 minutes every day this week to pray for your husband. I recommend grabbing some paper, a pen and writing each one out. Attached at the end of each prayer is a scripture to tie it all together. Feel free to write your own prayer for each point or you can use the exact prayers I’ve written out below. 

Day 1: Pray for his life

God, thank you for my future husband. Thank you so much for his life. Help him live according to your purpose for him. Help him make all the right decisions. I trust your timing for us and I pray that you would align our lives together when it is right. Please protect him this week and give him great joy every single day. Your word says. “…I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly” John 10:10. Thank you for blessing my future husband with an abundant life. Amen.

Day 2: Pray for his heart

God, I thank you so much for my future husband’s heart. Please bless and protect his heart. I pray that he would have the capacity to love you and love others in a great way. Help him guard his heart every day but also keep it wide open to You. I pray good and perfect health in his heart. If there has been any damage done to his heart please heal him completely so that he can love without fear. Your word says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart” Ezekiel 36:26. Thank you, Lord, for my future husband’s new heart. Amen.

 

Day 3: Pray for his peace:

God, thank you for covering my future husband in peace today and every day. I pray that he would not focus on the trials of life but keep his eyes set on you. In the midst of chaos help him to hold onto the peace that you give him. Let him be strong because he walks in peace with you. I pray that he would carry peace in his mind and heart to be able to think, speak and act clearly no matter what comes his way. Philippians 4:7 says, “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Thank you, Lord for protecting my future husband with your peace. Amen.

Day 4: Pray for his relationships

God, thank you for sending all the right people to my future husband. Let every relationship he has with others be for right reasons. Please bless him with the gift of friendship, and family. Bring him friends who will bring joy to his life and support whenever he needs it. Protect his relationship with his family and help them to grow closer in love to one another.  And may he have healthy relationships in his career. Your word says, “Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends” John 15:13. So I pray Lord that my future husband would have John 15:13 kind of relationships. Amen.

 

Day 5: Pray for his health

God thank you for blessing my future husband with good health. I pray that he would not be prone to illness because you protect him. Please give my future husband a healthy mind and a healthy body. Help him to make choices that are good for his health. Make him strong on the inside and the outside so that he will have all the strength he needs to live every day. Your word says, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” III John 1:2. Thank you, Lord, for the promise of prospering my husband in good health. Amen.

Day 6 Pray for his prosperity:

God thank you for giving my future husband success in all that he does. I pray that you would bring prosperity to every part of his life. Help him to be wise to his success and make decisions that will only contribute to greater prosperity for you. Lead him in every endeavor you bless him with. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I pray that this promise would be true in my future husband’s life. Amen. 

Day 7: Pray for his joy

God, thank you for filling my future husband up with so much joy. May the weight of worries and cares be lifted off so that he can experience your full joy. I pray that he would have joy every single day no matter what happens. Cause him to laugh more and often. Help him to smile effortlessly every day to those around him. Shine your light of joy on him so that he lights up the world around him. John 15:11 says, “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” Thank you for keeping my husband full of Your joy. Amen.


Stay tune for the sequel to this post on how we can pray for ourselves while we wait. In the mean time, comment below your thoughts, how you've been praying and/or if you plan to join me this week in praying for your husband! 

I'm praying for you babes and hope you have a wonderful week of prayer! Love you!

L

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The Gift of Singleness: Give Room For God by Jenae Kaanehe

Give Room for God

Oh, so you're single?!

Congratulations! What an exciting, pivotal time in your life! Despite what the world will try to tell you, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You are loved, valued and well taken care of by our heavenly Father! You are of no lesser value than your best friend or even peers around you that may be in a relationship or married. If you have recently gotten out of a relationship, it may seem like you're at the end of the rope right now, that your life has come to a halt...but let me challenge that thinking by saying it has only just begun! 

Let me be honest for a second, I didn't always have this mindset of being single. Since I was in 8th grade, for about 10 years I was in a relationship. I dated my first boyfriend for about 8 years. We made it through attending 2 separate high schools, being long-distance for a couple years living in 2 different states, and made it through my college years. All very big milestones in life. I thought he was the "one". We lived together for a few years and eventually broke up. Right after that, I immediately found myself in another relationship. This one was not so much rainbows and butterflies, but more like headaches and heartaches. After a few months things ended. I was devastated, crushed and confused. But it was in this time that I had such a powerful encounter with God and began to truly grow into the woman he intended me to be. 

I began digging in scriptures to find healing and honestly, to get rid of the bitterness I had in my heart. I asked the Lord to surround me with women of God who would encourage, love and support me through this process. And that's exactly what He did. I would say this was a big part of my healing. The biggest mistake you can do after a breakup is isolate yourself and/or be around people who will cause you to dwell on the past. I also discovered the importance of self-care, something put on the back burner in the past. Since I was so focused on my boyfriend I didn't get to enjoy things for myself and ensure my needs were met. I had to repent for putting my past relationships above my relationship with God. I idolized them and in turn was where I had put all my hope and trust. As I continued seeking God to fill every void in my life I began to see Him as all sufficient. I realized the importance of putting Jesus firstin my life. As I grew in my personal relationship with Christ I discovered the importance and even how to submit my life to Him. I believe this is a foundational "pre-requisite" before entering a relationship with purpose. The bible clearly states as women, we are to submit to our husband. How could I possibly submit to my husband if I couldn't even submit to God? 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
— Ephesians 5:22

Being single for the past three years I have found so much confidence in who I am in Christ. I continuously pray for God to prune and strengthen me in every area of my life as He does the same for my future husband. Having a completely new perspective on dating and marriage than I did three years ago I truly honor the covenant of marriage. It is no longer something I want to rush into and I encourage you not to either. Yes, be expectant that whoever Jesus has for you is an amazing man that is perfectly fit to help you carry out God's will for you on earth. But give it all up to God. Think about why you want to be married someday. Is it for your own fleshly desires? Or is it so God will get the glory? I pray wherever you're at in your journey that you will continue to seek the Lord like never before. Give God the room He needs to work in your life. It's not up to us to know the how. Trust that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) Stand tall and be of good cheer as God uses this season to prepare, plant and produce some amazing things in your life! 

Jenae Kaanehe

Young Adults Ministry Leader

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The Gift of Singleness: First Love by Allison Frank

First Love

If you are struggling with singleness, I can relate.

I’ve been there… many times, and honestly I’m still there sometimes. I’ve learned that the deep longing desire to be loved and to have intimacy is something that will never go away, for it is an innate desire that God built in us to keep us close with him and always desiring intimacy with him.

Unfortunately the world is really good at taking the things God has given us and perverting them into something outside of their original intention. God’s original intention was for us to have relationship with him first and foremost, yet things like Disney movies and romantic comedies have tainted us to believe that our happily ever after will come once we meet our prince charming. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as attractive as a prince charming might be, they will never be able to perfectly fill the deep intimacy and fulfillment that God offers. 

I believe that if you are struggling with being “single”, that you need to have a mindset shift… daily. The reason for this is because we need to shift our minds from the tainted culture of the world back to the perfect truth of God’s love.

And do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and the perfect will of God.
— Romans 12:2

When God is not first in your life, everything else will be out of balance, especially your emotions and your desires. I believe that when you become so consumed in your relationship with him, you will no longer feel single as God’s love is all consuming. 

While many are longing for someone to call or cuddle with late at night, God is always there, longing for us 24 hours a day. The creator of love, intimacy, and romance is already in your life pursuing you, wanting to spend every waking moment with you. He longs for you to call him late at night and tell him about your day. He wants to share intimate moments with you and spend time together. Learning how to be in relationship with God, your first husband, is the best possible way to prepare for any other relationship you have in your life. Marriage is not meant to complete you; it should complement you. Before even considering a romantic relationship, I believe its important to know who you are and know how to have a romantic relationship with God. Let his love fill you. Let him take you on dates. No one can out love God. No one can out give God. Therefore if you are not fully satisfied with love from God alone and from his incredible gifts, no human will ever be able to compete.  

The best lesson I have learned as a single, is that when you are whole with God, you can have joy and be satisfied in ANY season, single or not. I’ve learned that God is literally all you need. If you are not satisfied first and foremost with the creator of romance, no bae and no amount of flowers will ever fill your desires. I would rather be single and in close relationship with God, than have someone in my life who would keep me from my first love. Instead I want someone who will complement the strong relationship I already have, not compete with it. There is no love greater than the love from God, your creator and your first love, so I encourage you reading this to pursue God with all you have and I promise you that singleness will no longer feel like a burden but instead a gift. 

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.
— Isaiah 54:5

Love,

Allison


Allison Frank

Young Adults Ministry Leader

 

 

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