Give Room for God

Oh, so you're single?!

Congratulations! What an exciting, pivotal time in your life! Despite what the world will try to tell you, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You are loved, valued and well taken care of by our heavenly Father! You are of no lesser value than your best friend or even peers around you that may be in a relationship or married. If you have recently gotten out of a relationship, it may seem like you're at the end of the rope right now, that your life has come to a halt...but let me challenge that thinking by saying it has only just begun! 

Let me be honest for a second, I didn't always have this mindset of being single. Since I was in 8th grade, for about 10 years I was in a relationship. I dated my first boyfriend for about 8 years. We made it through attending 2 separate high schools, being long-distance for a couple years living in 2 different states, and made it through my college years. All very big milestones in life. I thought he was the "one". We lived together for a few years and eventually broke up. Right after that, I immediately found myself in another relationship. This one was not so much rainbows and butterflies, but more like headaches and heartaches. After a few months things ended. I was devastated, crushed and confused. But it was in this time that I had such a powerful encounter with God and began to truly grow into the woman he intended me to be. 

I began digging in scriptures to find healing and honestly, to get rid of the bitterness I had in my heart. I asked the Lord to surround me with women of God who would encourage, love and support me through this process. And that's exactly what He did. I would say this was a big part of my healing. The biggest mistake you can do after a breakup is isolate yourself and/or be around people who will cause you to dwell on the past. I also discovered the importance of self-care, something put on the back burner in the past. Since I was so focused on my boyfriend I didn't get to enjoy things for myself and ensure my needs were met. I had to repent for putting my past relationships above my relationship with God. I idolized them and in turn was where I had put all my hope and trust. As I continued seeking God to fill every void in my life I began to see Him as all sufficient. I realized the importance of putting Jesus firstin my life. As I grew in my personal relationship with Christ I discovered the importance and even how to submit my life to Him. I believe this is a foundational "pre-requisite" before entering a relationship with purpose. The bible clearly states as women, we are to submit to our husband. How could I possibly submit to my husband if I couldn't even submit to God? 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
— Ephesians 5:22

Being single for the past three years I have found so much confidence in who I am in Christ. I continuously pray for God to prune and strengthen me in every area of my life as He does the same for my future husband. Having a completely new perspective on dating and marriage than I did three years ago I truly honor the covenant of marriage. It is no longer something I want to rush into and I encourage you not to either. Yes, be expectant that whoever Jesus has for you is an amazing man that is perfectly fit to help you carry out God's will for you on earth. But give it all up to God. Think about why you want to be married someday. Is it for your own fleshly desires? Or is it so God will get the glory? I pray wherever you're at in your journey that you will continue to seek the Lord like never before. Give God the room He needs to work in your life. It's not up to us to know the how. Trust that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) Stand tall and be of good cheer as God uses this season to prepare, plant and produce some amazing things in your life! 

Jenae Kaanehe

Young Adults Ministry Leader

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