First Love

If you are struggling with singleness, I can relate.

I’ve been there… many times, and honestly I’m still there sometimes. I’ve learned that the deep longing desire to be loved and to have intimacy is something that will never go away, for it is an innate desire that God built in us to keep us close with him and always desiring intimacy with him.

Unfortunately the world is really good at taking the things God has given us and perverting them into something outside of their original intention. God’s original intention was for us to have relationship with him first and foremost, yet things like Disney movies and romantic comedies have tainted us to believe that our happily ever after will come once we meet our prince charming. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as attractive as a prince charming might be, they will never be able to perfectly fill the deep intimacy and fulfillment that God offers. 

I believe that if you are struggling with being “single”, that you need to have a mindset shift… daily. The reason for this is because we need to shift our minds from the tainted culture of the world back to the perfect truth of God’s love.

And do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and the perfect will of God.
— Romans 12:2

When God is not first in your life, everything else will be out of balance, especially your emotions and your desires. I believe that when you become so consumed in your relationship with him, you will no longer feel single as God’s love is all consuming. 

While many are longing for someone to call or cuddle with late at night, God is always there, longing for us 24 hours a day. The creator of love, intimacy, and romance is already in your life pursuing you, wanting to spend every waking moment with you. He longs for you to call him late at night and tell him about your day. He wants to share intimate moments with you and spend time together. Learning how to be in relationship with God, your first husband, is the best possible way to prepare for any other relationship you have in your life. Marriage is not meant to complete you; it should complement you. Before even considering a romantic relationship, I believe its important to know who you are and know how to have a romantic relationship with God. Let his love fill you. Let him take you on dates. No one can out love God. No one can out give God. Therefore if you are not fully satisfied with love from God alone and from his incredible gifts, no human will ever be able to compete.  

The best lesson I have learned as a single, is that when you are whole with God, you can have joy and be satisfied in ANY season, single or not. I’ve learned that God is literally all you need. If you are not satisfied first and foremost with the creator of romance, no bae and no amount of flowers will ever fill your desires. I would rather be single and in close relationship with God, than have someone in my life who would keep me from my first love. Instead I want someone who will complement the strong relationship I already have, not compete with it. There is no love greater than the love from God, your creator and your first love, so I encourage you reading this to pursue God with all you have and I promise you that singleness will no longer feel like a burden but instead a gift. 

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.
— Isaiah 54:5



Allison Frank

Young Adults Ministry Leader