Finding True Satisfaction
Currently, I have been married for about a year and a half now, engaged for 8 months before that, and dating for about a year and a half before that. It’s been a little while since I have experienced singleness, but I still remember some of those single aches like it was yesterday.
There were days when all I could think about was having a guy who loved and cherished me and there were days when I told myself I didn’t need a guy and being single was so much fun.
Most of the time though, I thought I was pretty cool with not having a guy in my life. I’m a pretty independent girl and told myself a lot that I didn’t need a guy. I had big plans for myself and if a guy came along, great and if not I’d be fine. But deep down I didn’t really believe that. I think I only said that to myself out of fear. Fear that a guy wouldn’t come along and that my deepest longings wouldn’t be filled. I wanted to find “the guy”, I wanted to be loved & I wanted to live happily ever after. What girl doesn’t?!
My independence and self talk were merely blankets to prepare myself just in case my desire would never be met, but deep down there was a bigger issue that needed more than a blanket’s help.
I know all of this because “the guy” did come along, and he was tall, dark, and handsome. He loved Jesus, had a wonderful family, had dreams & ambition… just about everything I had ever dreamed of. He pursued me the old fashion way, he made me laugh, gave me butterflies, and told me I was beautiful. Straight from a movie– every girl’s dream. This was “the guy”!!! My deepest desires were fulfilled. My dreams were coming true. Eeep. My life could now be complete! ….right?!
As time went on, I began to feel a little bit disappointed or maybe a better word would be restless. This is the guy of my dreams…everything I could have wanted (Literally. Greatest guy you will know!!!) We are getting married. We’re graduating college. Life is GREAT, exactly what I’ve hoped for…but I’m still not content? What’s the deal?
*cue major conviction and realization from the Holy Spirit*
Let me tell you the deal. I was finding, or at least trying to find, my contentment in everything else but God. Even though I wasn’t aware of it, I had placed my “satisfaction” & hope in finding a husband and getting married. When I was single, I truly think I believed that getting married was like the peak of my life or something? I would have never admitted that, even to myself… but I think I really did believe that. Then, when I got everything I had ever wanted, I was left feeling even more restless than before. It was still not enough. And it will never be enough.
Christ is the only thing that can ever satisfy my heart. Ever. I can search this world high and low and always come up empty.
This is honestly the first thing I talk about when anyone asks me about singleness. It’s so important. I think that as women, we often look at marriage as the peak of our lives. If we can just get married…then everything will be settled. We can’t think like that. Single or married, Christ is the only thing that will EVER, EVER satisfy. I have gotten my dream guy and experienced first hand the empty ache and restlessness because I thought that marriage would satisfy my deepest longings.
So my few tips for singleness would be this:
1. When I would get the deep aches of singleness, I had a journal, specifically dedicated to prayers for my husband. I would sit down and write out a prayer for him or share with the Lord what was going on in my heart. This helped tremendously with laying the burden down before the Lord and moving on with my day.
2. Pray specific scripture over him. It’s fun to look back and see prayers that I prayed when I never knew my husband and how they have come to fruition years later.
3. Find your satisfaction in Christ alone. Be on your knees and in the word daily asking that you would really believe Christ is all you need.
4. Lastly, enjoy this season. I know a lot of people say that. But singleness really has many great blessings that come along with it. Do what you want to do, live where you want to live. Travel. Go see friends. Bloom where you’re planted.
Press on sister. Christ has you right where he wants you.
Author and Owner of Living Unshackled