Perspective versus purpose.
I pray that these words give a new perspective on the purpose in your season of singleness.
I believe perspective in any situation allows us to persevere with grace or it can cause us to struggle through with hardship. If there is anything that I would want you to know as you journey this season of life is: enjoy it! I am recently engaged and will soon be married, but before meeting my soon-to-be husband I went through a season of being single for three years after a four year, extremely unhealthy, relationship.
In those three years there was one thing I always held on to “I will never settle," but what did that truly mean? Whose standard was I measuring “settling” to? The world’s view or God’s view? So, I started praying. Asking, “Father what is it that you have for me? Who is it you desire me to be? Who do you desire FOR me?” God showed me that first I needed to find myself in who He says I am. You see, that extremely unhealthy past relationship I was in brought extreme identity issues and emotional turmoil. I knew who people wanted me to be, but I lost sight of who God created me to be.
In singleness allow yourself grace to search not only who you are but WHOSE you are. You are a daughter of the King, an heir to His Kingdom, loved, pursued, and full of purpose and passion. You will never have more time than you do now and trust me, it is okay to be a little selfish with self-care.
Next, be specific. As I journeyed through starting to truly know the Amber Burgos that was created by an eternal King, God started to move me into the next phase, praying for my future husband. I didn’t know where he was, what he would look like, or when I would meet him, but I knew God had him somewhere for me so I got down on my knees on his behalf. God’s word tells us “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.” (Matthew 7:7) and I believe that His word is always true. Have you thought about what you want your husband to be like? What are your non-negotiables in a man? From my experience by setting these standards in place allows you to protect your heart in the process of singleness. There is less time wasted on the men that “could be a good choice.” I prayed my husband would first and foremost have a love for God above his love for me. That he would be a man of good character, respectful, a man that held family close to his heart and a man who is dedicated to his work. I challenge you to think of this. Take out a pen and paper and think of the man you believe will enrich your life and write each characteristic down then, pray! Pray over that list and for that man. When you know in your heart the man you are looking for, it is much easier to spot him when God brings him along.
Finally, savor this season. Singleness is a gift! Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing, the process of preparing for a marriage is heavenly but there is nothing like being a single woman. When you are single you get to completely focus on God. There is not a pull for your heart in other directions. As I get closer to my wedding date I find that my relationship with Christ must be kept even more intentional.In God’s eyes, the day we are brought into union by marriage, husband and wife are seen as one in Christ. There is no "him and her." It is we. My entire single season WE had been God and I, but now, I am biblically called to serve my husband but equally I am still to do this with my God. Selfishly, I miss that season, where WE was God and I.
To the beautiful women reading this I pray you find new perspective on this season you are in. I pray you find the purpose in the patient waiting. Search for yourself in Christ, be specific as you pray for your future husband, and savor this season of being selfish with God and you.